Empowering kids: Breaking gender bias

Empowering Kids: Breaking Bias and Embracing Gifts

By:  Shel Hart

October 28, 2024

At our recent annual home Halloween party, a pre-teen boy asked my wife, “What does Shel do for a job? You have a big house and some nice cars.” She answered, but then subtly asked, “Are you curious what I do for a job and how I contribute to the things you see?” His response was casual: “Sure, what do you do?”—with little interest. Little did he know, my wife has spent over 25 years at Disney, where she holds a significant role.

This brief interaction highlights how ingrained gender perceptions still are, especially in the minds of our children. As my wife and I talked about the party, that moment reminded us how important it is to show and teach our kids about equality and to challenge traditional stereotypes. So, how can we guide the next generation toward a more balanced view of gender roles? Here are some meaningful actions we can take.

1. Have Open Conversations

When kids ask questions about what parents do, use that as a chance to talk about both parents’ roles. If one parent tends to get more attention, make sure to share how the other contributes equally.

For instance, my wife could have shared more about her role at Disney, explaining how her work impacts millions every day. It helps kids understand that success and contribution aren’t tied to gender.

2. Expose Kids to Diverse Role Models

Children need to see both men and women excelling in all sorts of roles, at work and at home. Boys especially should see women in leadership positions to break down old stereotypes about who can do what.

You can introduce them to stories of women thriving in careers that aren’t typically seen as “women’s work” or point out female leaders in TV shows and movies. Disney gives us great examples—think of Moana or Elsa leading and making decisions, just like Simba or Hercules.

3. Encourage Curiosity About Everyone’s Role

When kids ask about what one parent does, encourage them to also ask about what the other parent does. This helps balance their understanding of how both contribute.

If a child asks about dad’s job, gently encourage curiosity about mom’s role too. For instance, you could say, “Want to hear how your mom helped create something amazing this week?” to spark interest.

4. Share Responsibilities at Home

Kids learn by watching. If they see both parents sharing responsibilities—whether it’s cooking, paying bills, or making decisions—they’ll grow up thinking that’s normal. This helps break down the idea that certain tasks are for men and others are for women.

For example, if you and your spouse split household tasks, talk openly about it. Show them that everyone contributes, and that all work—whether at home or the office—is valuable.

5. Challenge Stereotypes

When kids say things like “That’s a man’s job” or “Only women do that,” take the opportunity to challenge those stereotypes. Offer real-life examples of people who break the mold.

If your child says, “Boys are better at math,” use it as a chance to explain that everyone—regardless of gender—has unique gifts or superpowers. Some people excel in math, others in art or sports, and the key is to understand and lean into those strengths. It’s just as important to surround yourself with people who have different strengths, so together you can create something better. You can also share stories of women thriving in STEM or men excelling in caregiving roles to help broaden their perspective. This reinforces the idea that abilities aren’t limited by gender, but by how we embrace our uniqueness and work together.

6. Lead by Example

Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. If we model equality and respect in our daily lives, they’ll naturally absorb those values.

In our case, it’s important to show that both my wife and I contribute to our family’s success—whether that’s through our careers or at home. By being open about these roles, we can help kids see that success comes from teamwork, not gender.

By making small shifts in how we talk to and engage with kids, we can help them grow up with a more inclusive view of gender roles. It’s not about one big conversation but about everyday actions—whether it’s talking openly about both parents’ jobs, encouraging curiosity, or challenging stereotypes when they pop up.

Just like Disney tells stories that challenge old norms, we can do the same in our homes. Together, we can raise a generation that values both men’s and women’s contributions and understands that collaboration, not gender, is what leads to success.